What was I thinking when I fell for you?
by Teespaz
Summary: Alex reflects on seeing Michael again.


He didn't understand it. Why was he doing this again? Why, after all these years, did Michael still have this control over him. He made him weak.

It had been 10 years but when Alex had seen Michael out the front of that trailer, a look of anger quickly replaced by shock at seeing Alex standing there, his heart had almost burst from his chest. He never expected to see Michael again after what had happened all those years ago, he thought that Michael would have left Roswell by now, finally using that genius brain of his instead of playing the dumb town drunk. But he was still here, in the middle of the desert, living in a goddamned trailer of all things. Why was he still here? Why hadn't he run from this small town life the first chance he got? It baffled Alex. It really did.

Michael had still looked the same, but had grown into his body. No longer looking like the skinny, starving teenager he'd once been. Those 10 years had done him good.

Michael had always been handsome, even when he was 17, skinny, with a head full of unruly curls.

But now?

Alex shivered.

Michael had put on much needed muscle, his shoulders had broadened, his chest, from what Alex could see, was toned. Alex had felt his mouth go dry as he has spied a light smattering of chest hair.

One thing that hadn't changed was the cocky grin. It had been the same as it was 10 years ago.

Alex could tell by the look in Michael's eyes that he too was thinking about the difference 10 years had made on Alex's body.

There had been a slight hunger in Michael's eyes as he took in Alex. The same hunger Alex was sure that Michael had seen in his eyes.

Seeing him again, several times over the last few days, then kissing him at the reunion. He still kissed the same as 10 years ago. It was full of passion, pain and longing. As they stopped both of them had been breathing heavily, clinging to each other as they had caught their breath.

"I knew you still wanted me," Michael had smirked.

It had been like a bucket of ice water had been thrown over Alex. He'd staggered back in shock, not quite believing what had happened.

Sadness had flashed in Michael's eyes as Alex took a few steps backwards.

"I-I can't," Alex had ground out.

Alex had left the room as quickly as possible, not looking back as he hobbled away.

Over the next few days, as they had seen each other, things had been said, longing glances had been exchanged. Then Alex had made up his mind and they had fallen in bed together. They'd sunk so deep into each other that Alex couldn't move after. Michael had explored Alex's body like he'd never seen it before, had worshipped every inch, first with his fingers and then with his mouth. He'd taken special care with Alex's leg, or lack of a leg and had stared into Alex's eyes, not with pity, but a look Alex didn't recognise. It had been so intense that Alex's eyes had watered. Michael had lent down and closed the gap between them, ensnaring Alex in a kiss that had made his spine curl from the bed.

Alex had been so satisfied afterwards that he'd closed his eyes, he hadn't felt like that since he'd been with Michael the last time. All those years ago.

He'd only meant to close his eyes for a few minutes, he had been intending to leave, but he'd fallen asleep. It had been the first time since he'd been home that he had sleep without the nightmares, the first time he hadn't woken violently, he hadn't even moved from laying his head on Michael's chest.

Then when he'd finally woken up, he had felt rested and sore in all the right places. For a moment he had forgotten about what he'd endured in the past 10 years.

He'd stared at Michael for a long time, noticing the slight changes in the mans face. The stubble, the scars, a few fine lines. His eyes had traveled down Michael's body, looking at him hungrily, noticing more scars. He'd noticed Michael's hand the night before, the mangled fingers, and burnt looking skin. Something had told Alex that is wasn't a burn. Alex took the time to study Michael's hand. No, it hadn't been burnt, but the skin, it was strange. Alex had never seen anything like it.

After studying Michael for what seemed like hours, Alex had begun running his hand over Michael's chest, not being able to resist the temptation. And as Michael had shifted awake, Alex's heart had jumped at the pure ecstasy and joy that had crossed Michael's face as he realised Alex had stayed. Michael had kissed Alex deeply

Then Isabelle had interrupted and Alex had hurt Michael with what he'd said. He'd made Michael think that Alex was ashamed of him. But that hadn't been the problem. Alex wasn't ashamed. He just wasn't ready to have the small town of Roswell talking about him even more then they were.

Michael had gotten rid of Isabelle and Alex had left without a word.

Then he'd been dragged to that stupid fundraiser by his father, and seen Michael there, about to leave. He'd offered him a few beers as a peace offering, and spent the time, laughing and talking about everything and anything. His father had ruined it for him, he'd put doubt into Alex's mind, no doubt intentionally. He then fought with Michael over some stupid copper wire and said some things that he'd wished he hadn't.

He'd left the fundraiser, alone again and headed home, angry with his father, but most of all, angry with himself.


End file.
